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This period signifies a full decade since the term “disappearing” entered the mainstream. Initially, the concept that someone could instantly end all contact with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, seeking a significant other has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes fruitless endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by online jargon.

Generation Z, a cohort who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread attack on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their Gen Y predecessors could ever fathom. And so their romantic glossary has grown more extensive and more deranged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” pushing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a detailed breakdown to the terms Zoomers is using to talk about love, sex and the pursuit of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Genuineness – According to Zoomers, dating’s ultimate goal is presenting as your real, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon connected to a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s response is inquisitive or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s response to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while oozing mystery and independence. (She might still have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This refers to seeking out someone who helps you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A outing where two people connect while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do budget-friendly dating in a inflation-era world.

Emotional spiral – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a crush or breakup, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 80s young urban professional excess, it refers to partners who choose against parenthood to focus on their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of being guarded: utilizing dialogue, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Flags

• Red flags – Personal traits indicating a potential partner is bad news. Examples include calling their exes unstable, subpar tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions confirm your choice to pursue a partner. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These typically describe specific, largely inoffensive quirks. For instance being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their wallet, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who hates the same things or people that you do (few things fosters intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women's increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and usually everyday dealbreakers that immediately extinguish any feelings of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an incredibly romantic act.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be limited since some gen Z prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance realistic.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {